Convincing Mom to Go to More Feiseanna

Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Emily Wilkerson on January 10, 2012 at 10:23pm

Tell your mom how hard you're worked and how much you want to go! I'm sure she'll understand. :) Or, if you and your parents are comfortable with this, maybe you could have someone else from your school take you, or at the very least carpool.

• ▶ Reply

Permalink Reply by Ginny on January 12, 2012 at 2:44am

Thanks for the advice. :)

• ▶ Reply

Permalink Reply by Rachel F. on January 15, 2012 at 11:42pm

I carpool a lot because my parents work a lot.  But i think Emily's advice to tell your parents how much this means to you and how hard and dedicated you are.  maybe they just need to hear how important this is to you.  best of luck to you!  

• ▶ Reply

Permalink Reply by Ginny on January 16, 2012 at 12:02am

Thanks Rachel! :D

• ▶ Reply

Permalink Reply by Thomas Beck on January 17, 2012 at 6:08pm

practise for a hour every day just to make sure youll advance

• ▶ Reply

Permalink Reply by Ginny on January 19, 2012 at 1:14am

That's a good point, Thomas. I guess I'll just have to win the ones I go to! XD

• ▶ Reply

Permalink Reply by Jessie on January 22, 2012 at 9:27am

When I was reliant on my mum taking me to competitions, she had certain "criteria" I had to meet for her to take me to comps. It was basic things that really go without saying, for example:

 

I had to practice a certain amount each week outside of class. If dancing wasn't important enough for me to practice, it wasn't important enough for her to travel hours and give up her time to drive me to a feis! So make sure you are practicing at home, and really working hard at classes to improve. If you're doing this, your actions will speak for themselves and your parents will see how much you want to do well and be more likely to take you to comps. 

 

I also had to do chores around the house. Mum sacrificed a lot of her time and money to take me to classes each week, and regular competitions. So it was only fair that I should give something back, therefore I had to help out around the house. This meant there was less for her to get done so she had more time to do things for me sometimes (like feis!).

 

Getting you to a competition involves a lot of sacrifices from parents - their time, sometimes their work, money (fees, petrol, food, etc), so you need to make sure you are making sacrifices too. While telling your parents how much it means to you may help, showing how much it means to you through  would be far more effective - "Actions speak louder than words". B y practicing, helping out, making sure you keep attitude in check at class, etc etc etc, your parents may be more inclined to take you.

 

If they can't, ask if there is any way you can work it out so you can go to competitions with some friends - car pooling, etc.

 

And as mentioned - make sure you practice really hard. If you are dancing strong and up to standard then you could still very well qualify for O's. Competitions are about quality, not just quantity. If you're dancing poorly you could do 10 comps and still be no higher up the ranks, if you work hard and perfect your dancing, you could see a big difference in just a few comps.

• ▶ Reply

Permalink Reply by Bridget Hogan on January 23, 2012 at 4:08am

As long as you are getting good grades in school, explain that this is important to you and talk to her about your reasons, and see if you can compromise. Is there a way you could ride to and stay with another family to attend an extra feis or two? Or ask and see if your dad would be willing to take you? Having good grades in school is going to be important, that way you have a stronger case to plead. GOOD LUCK. 

I understand, I would Feis every weekend if I could!!!

• ▶ Reply

Permalink Reply by Ginny on January 24, 2012 at 11:18pm

Thank you both, Jessie and Bridget! Excellent advice! :D

• ▶ Reply

Permalink Reply by james ashley gifford on January 25, 2012 at 5:25pm

tell her if i want to make you proud of me then i need to compet at my teachers standerds. no if ands or butts

• ▶ Reply

Permalink Reply by Romuald on January 27, 2012 at 12:18am

i have no chance because of distance (4 hours with PLANE to the nearest) to have more Feisanna as 3 per year, but this don't prevent my 4th places on Russian and European this year (2 of 3 Feisana in this year, first was even without Open Championship), yes this places are in Europe, yes i am not ready for Qualification that i got, BUT my 4th Open Championship in my life will be world open championship, so dreams come true, do not give up and continue to work, everything will be so as you deserve.

 

My opinion is @less is more@ (as Brendan O'Brian, my favorite judge, say everytime) , 

So just show this duscussion to your mom and prepare first of all for Oireachtas, don't spread yourself on every available Feis, 4 Feisanna per year including Oireachtas are really enough and optimal for your growth.

• ▶ Reply

Permalink Reply by Nic Cionnaith on February 6, 2012 at 5:57am

I had the same problem when I was younger, only with horse shows. I couldn't understand why my mom was so opposed to letting me show more when many of my friends hauled their horses to competitions all over the country. Eventually, I began to understand that showing was a LOT of work for my mom because she had help clean my tack, haul us to the show, and then keep my horse and I looking shiny and perfect. And on top of everything, she had to put up with my rudeness because I would get stressed and take it out on her.

Now, I have no idea if this is the case with you and your mom. It could be a factor, though. Going to lots of feiseanna doesn't just take money, it also requires a major time commitment and a lot of work for the parents involved. Make an effort to help out your mom as much as possible to make things easier for her. Take on more responsibility in order to make feising a more pleasant experience for everyone. Also, sit down and have a calm discussion with your parents about your goal for this year- making it to the Oireachtas. Then you can figure out what you need to do in order to make that happen.

Good luck!

• ▶ Reply